As a pretty young girl, I had dreams and fantasies like every teenage kid would. My greatest fantasy was waking up to teases and kisses from the love of my life and our beautiful baby girl, after a night of explosive love making, far at sea. I lived my fantasy, not just how I thought it would end.
My life as a university student went by rather beautifully and fast. Being one of the smartest girls in class, love wasn’t far fetched, even the coolest dudes took turns with hopes of dating a beautiful brown skin girl. For some girls, it was a life they could trade for anything, but I just wanted one honest dude to love me for who I really am.
Chris didn’t stop trying to date me. Little favours led to grand gestures. Really cool dude who seemed caring, but I wasn’t just ready for a relationship. ‘‘I am happy and comfortable being your friend Chris, but I want us to be just that. A relationship right now will ruin our friendship on the long run.’’ Everytime I said this, it seemed my words pierced through his heart like a two-edged sword. We remained friends, although Chris would stylishly try to pass me off as his significant other often times either of us met another male. ‘‘Meet Claire, my favorite other half’’ he would say. ‘‘we’re just friends’’, I always clarified with a laughter.
Movie night was sort of a thing for us back in school and we tried to keep up even after graduating University. Work took quite a toll on us both as young graduates, but I seized every opportunity to relax and have fun with my friends. Movies at Chris’s place instead of the cinema wasn’t a bad idea so I went over from work with some of our favourite muffins.
‘‘Hi, you must be Claire, I’m Otis.’’ for few seconds, I thought I knocked on the wrong door until Chris came by. ‘‘hey Claire, come on in. I see you’ve met Otis, Best buddy since day one.’’ I smiled as I nodded with a simple, ‘‘oh yeah.’’ Otis cut in with ‘‘it’s nice to finally meet the beautiful Claire, Chris always talks about how wonderful you are.’’ I’m not surprised to hear these words, but coming from the most eye catching young man I had ever set my eyes on, I was immensely flattered. All I could think of was how Otis felt about me all through the time we saw two movies. The few seconds I spent at Chris’s door, was a constant playback in my head all night in bed.
Things went off rather quickly, I visited Chris more often and always suggested he Invite Otis to our hangouts. I soon became fond of Otis and shortly after, I realised the feeling was mutual. I received a package at work with a note that read, ‘‘it’ll be my pleasure to spend the evening with you. I’ll pick you at 8, if you don’t mind.’’ He asked me to a date. The usual me would work overtime, but I found myself wishing I could leave right away.
That night led through the months of courtship that followed and ended with the wedding of my dreams. I don’t know who had more teary eyes between Otis, Chris and I. I was extremely happy, but it was quite obvious someone was hurt. Apparently, Otis felt Chris was just super happy for his friends but I knew he wished he was the one on that altar with me. I wasn’t his to love anymore.
Our marriage was awesome, filled with fun experiences, our daughter grown into a beautiful young girl, and my husband still had his best friend Chris. We had family time every weekend and Chris would join us. He occasionally spent time with us whenever Otis was out of town for work. They were like brothers. Everything was smooth until two months ago.
My phone rang while I was in the shower and I asked my husband to check who it was but the call dropped as he got to the phone. I got out to see my husband starring at my phone. I asked who called but got no response from him. I got in bed beside him to see a message that read, ‘‘hey, how’s my baby girl doing?’’. The look in my husbands eyes was glaring of disappointment. ‘‘it’s not what you think hun. It’s not even for me, it’s not what it seems.’’ my words weren’t even convincing enough for me talk more of my husband. I just had to tell him the truth. I hope it doesn’t ruin our marriage.
‘’The night of the burglary, the one you were on your business convention, you asked Chris to come over to stay with me, he did. As your best friend and a family friend, I asked him to sleep in the guest room. I felt really safe with him around. We had breakfast the next morning and he also came over to see how I was doing in the evening. I couldn’t wait for you to return. I needed my husband close to me. Every night afterwards was accompanied with nightmares, I could barely sleep. Chris offered to spend the night in the house just to keep me safe. He met me making dinner one evening, we ate and had some wine, we were having conversations about TV when…
Otis, I really regret that night. I don’t know what came over me. I really missed your warmth, I kept thinking about you everytime. He leaned in and kissed me. I wanted to stop, I honestly did, but it was just so intense, I kept telling him we shouldn’t be having sex. Not with his best friend’s wife, but I don’t know why I couldn’t stop him or myself. I felt so terrible after it happened and asked him to leave. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you when you returned. I was ashamed of myself, but that was the only time I ever cheated. I love you so much Otis.
A week after you returned, I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited and went for a scan but found out it was just over a month. I was so confused, it’s impossible. I told Chris about it when I realised what had happened. I planned to get rid of the pregnancy but Chris insisted we keep it. You would be really excited about a baby girl and would never suspect. A child would bring us so much joy, you’d be an amazing dad and he would be there for her whenever you were away. It’s the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make in my entire life.
I still planned to tell you, but seeing the genuine excitement on your face when I told you I was finally pregnant couldn’t bring me to hurt you with my regrettable action. The way you take care of Amy, the love and care you show her always fills me guilt and sadness that she’s not yours.’’
I always wished a day never came when I’ll have to share my secret. The choice to let my carelessness and residual platonic affection for my friend and husband’s best friend has cost me my marriage and childhood fantasy. I never meant to hurt the love of my life with his best friend or with anyone. I need my Otis back.